The Sanity of Valhalla
by The Harlequinne
Summary: Chrissy doesn't consider herself brave. She considers herself insane. She's been sent to a place for the honourable, a place that turns her honour into bloodlust. But through it all she holds on to the one thing that can save her humanity.
1. Chapter 1

My hands were shaking. Given the current circumstances, this was not a good thing. I was desperately tying bed sheets, pillowcases, socks, anything I could get my hands on together to make the longest rope I could. It didn't help that, in the corner of my eye, through the window, I kept glimpsing a blonde girl with wings. Yeah, I must be going crazy. But Sola was keeping it together, getting me new sheets and trying her hardest not to cry. I needed to be strong for her. I needed to be fast, to ignore my hallucinations and get us the heck out of here. I could hear them climbing up the stairs. They'd already shot our mother. And they nearly had us.

why, dad? Why would you leave us to face your demons?

I was tying one end of my makeshift rope to the fan when they stopped at our door. Sola and I froze. They tried the handle and I smashed the window. Sola was sobbing. I fed rope through the shattered window, as they started banging on the door. Then one of them thought to use an axe.

'Sola.' I knelt down and looked her in the eyes.

'You need to climb down. Can you do that?' She nodded bravely and I smiled.

'good. I'll be right behind you, okay?'

she hugged me, and I lifted her up to the window. She started shimmying down.

She's always been so brave, my little sister.

The door splintered. I grabbed a shard of glass, ignoring the sharp pain and the trickling blood. If anything, that made me feel better.

The guys broke in, one of them holding a tiny handgun, another an axe, and the third one of my own kitchen knives. The bastard. The last one clearly didn't need a weapon.

'Where is he?' Gun guy snapped.

I took a deep breath and tried to disguise my fear.

'you know he didn't tell me. You know I haven't seen him in years. I'm guessing you must be pretty desperate, to come after us. Sorry to disappoint.'

Knife woman kicked the wall. 'She isn't lying.'

and just like that, I was shot. In the stomach. It was agony, and I collapsed, but I could handle myself. I could still save her. I stayed down for a second, trying not to scream, before jumping up and slicing the shard across Gun Guys face. A piece of the glass broke of in his eye, but I had time to stab Knife Woman in the heart, had time to smirk at the shock and anger in her fading eyes, before two strong hands closed around my neck and twisted.

The last thing I saw was blood.

The last thing I heard was a crack.

And the last thing I thought was Sola, I'm sorry...


	2. Chapter 2

I was coughing, doubled over and shocked. When the coughing subsided, I wiped my eyes and blinked in confusion.

I wasn't in pain. I checked the front of my shirt, the one with the cartoon panda. No bullet hole. No blood. I tentatively touched my neck. No bruises. No crushed, broken bone.

 _What. The. Hell_?

I was standing in the courtyard of some massive limestone and marble mansions. There were imposing double doors, made of dark wood with wicked wolfs head door knockers. Because why not?

I turned around, looking for a way out. But the mansion was surrounded why a limestone wall, three times as tall as I was. There were no breaks or openings. I could just see Brisbane city from where I was standing. But where was I?

i was eyeballing a white tree in the corner of the courtyard, which seemed to have pure gold leaves, when the double doors swung loudly inwards. I jumped backwards, and a suspicious, burly man in a green doorman's uniform stepped out. He looked like he'd been expecting me. His face seemed to be smeared in ashes, which dusted his long knotted beard. His eyes were red and an axe (typical) hung by his side.

'Um, hello?' I tried. 'Sorry, I seem to be...lost. If you could maybe show me the way out?'

He gave me a sigh that smelled like burnt meat.

'Not possible, I'm afraid. You're dead. Please follow me to registration.'


	3. Chapter 3

He immediately turned and walked inside.

'wait, what? Are you joking or legit _psycho_?' clearly all pretences of politeness had been thrown out the window.

He didn't stop, so I ended up jogging to catch up.

'Hey, jerk, don't just... Wow.'

It was bigger on the inside. I'm not even kidding, just like the TARDIS.

The foyer alone was twice as big as the mansion had seemed a second ago. There was a fireplace on the right wall that was the size of an entire room. There seemed to be hundreds of beautiful animal skins covering the hardwood floor, and the ceiling, lined with spears, was held up by breathtaking, roughly hewn tree trunks. Having grown up in cheap apartment buildings in the city, I've never even imagined seeing a place like this. And having grown up knowing what's possible and what isn't, I'd say I was losing my mind. Or had I been drugged? None of the options were good.

In the middle of the cavernous room stood a display board announcing some kind of schedule- single combat to the death at 10 A.M., group combat to the death at 11 A.M. Etc

The freaky doorman dude broke me out of my stunned trance.

'Luggage?'

I looked at him.

'Alright then. Not many people bring luggage anymore.'

He glared in the general direction of an... Upside down boat? It seemed to serve as a reception desk.

'Come on.' He headed of towards it. I didn't trust him at all, but I had to talk to someone or find a phone. I had to find out what was going on. And I had to find my sister.

The man behind the... Keel, I think it's called?... Looked like Santa Clause after his sled got caught in a lightning storm. Massive beard, crazy hair. He wore a green suit. His name tag read 'Helgi'.

'Welcome!' He exclaimed. 'Checking in?'

'No, actually. I was wondering if I could borrow your phone?' I gave him my sweetest smile.

He frowned and looked at the doorman, who's name tag (I finally noticed) read 'Hunding'. What an unfortunate name.

Helgis' gaze was pretty accusing, and Hunding squirmed under it. Finally, Helgi sighed.

'As I'm sure you've suspected, ma'am, you are dead. And chosen to join us at Hotel Valhalla! We've upgraded you to a suite.'

I blinked.

'Yeah, Hunding here said basically the same thing. But since I'm breathing, walking, and functioning pretty much as normal, I don't really buy it. Could someone PLEASE just tell

me what the hell is actually happening?'

Hunding looked vaguely sympathetic.

'Miss, what's the last thing you remember?'

My heart pounded. I was lightheaded. Everything in my brain was shouting 'NO!'

I saw flashes- blood, glass, bullets. I heard a snap.

I remembered the moment my life left me.

'Miss? Miss are you alright?'

I blinked. I was on the floor. Oh god, had i actually fainted? A few teenagers in robes snickered at me from around the foyer. Red hot rage filled me, and I shoved Hunding away and picked myself up.

'Um, here's your room key...'

I snatched the thing of Helgi and stormed away.

Hunding scurried to catch up with me.

I did end up letting the doorman show me around, since he didn't seem super threatening. And the hotel... It really was something. Each hall was bigger than the last. Teenagers, girls and guys, were hanging out. Eating snacks. Playing board games. Doing something that involved knives and a blowtorch.

I payed close attention to the staff members, recognisable by their green shirts. They were weird, almost all burly, heavily armed females. I wasn't scared, exactly. I'm never scared, at least not for myself. But I was definitely on guard.

'Hey, Hunding?' I asked warily.

'Yes, Miss?'

'How can all these people all be dead? They don't look dead. I don't feel dead. Convince me.'

'Well, Miss-'

'Let me stop you right there. It's Christina, ok? But call my Chrissy. Not "Miss"'

'Sure... Chrissy. Ok, so in Valhalla you can't really think of yourself as "dead" dead. It's more like you've been upgraded, and now you live here. You're an einherjar now.'

'In...hair...yar. Ok. Sure. Valhallas like... Norse mythology, right?'

'Its not mythology. We're the chosen warriors of Odin, the soldiers in his eternal army who will rise to defend him at Ragnarok.'

I processed this in silence. I didn't necessarily believe that once you died, that was it. Game over. So I guess I was open to the idea of an afterlife. But that would mean giving up, accepting death. And I didn't know how to go down without a fight. Besides, Sola needed me.

I would play nice. I would sit and wait and gather intel, and eventually, get out of here. No matter what


End file.
